英語電影搞笑話劇劇本
㈠ 關於搞笑英語小品的劇本有中文的
v 英文劇本 Legend of phoenix (2007-09-06 21:36:03)
v 英文電影劇本 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2007-09-06 21:35:00)
v 英語短劇劇本The Pocket Money (2007-06-30 10:48:31)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 孫悟空vs豬八戒 (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇） (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語劇本買葯 (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英語小品劇本 -- The Pocket Money (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英語小劇本-----小紅帽 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 貂禪 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英語表演劇本--小獅子找食物 (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英語童話劇：白雪公主<劇本> (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英語小品劇本-- 英語劇本買葯 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語劇本 魔豆 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英語小品劇本 -- Big words of western tour （大話西遊） (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英語小品劇本 -- Learn to love (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 防空洞英文劇本 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 男孩和他的樹>----中英文 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英語小品 Another day in paradise (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語話劇劇本●傻子春天 (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英語短劇：Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英語短劇：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英語小品劇本 -- The Gifts （禮物） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 音樂劇：Peter and the Wolf （彼德與狼） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語話劇《新梁祝外傳》劇本 (2007-03-30 12:03:46)
v 英語小品劇本 -- THE MASK 面膜 (2007-03-30 12:03:46)
下面的網址有好多,你找找//
http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/
參考資料：http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/
㈡ 求一個搞笑英語話劇劇本（6人）
《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇）
本文來自: 恆星英語學習網( 詳細出處參考：
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI』mhenpecked,butinfact,I』masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』mhere!What』supmum?
JM:I』「mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law」.
L:OK.-in-law,what』sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I』mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)
㈢ 求搞笑的英語劇本
《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇）
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI』mhenpecked,butinfact,I』masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』mhere!What』supmum?
JM:I』「mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law」.
L:OK.-in-law,what』sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I』mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I』mnotinterruptingyou.?And
I』llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor』ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:「Ifyoudaughter
Haven』tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!」Nowyouarefreeagain,I』llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(驚愕):What?Themayor』sson?-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』msohungry!Butthere』snobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone..
JM(上):Where』smybreakfast?Where』sLunch?Hasn』tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can』tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬禮):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1maoenough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor』.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It』simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven』tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I』vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don』tyou?I』llgo
withyou..
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI』vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)
Act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭狀):Ihurtalot!
J:Don』tcrybaby.I』llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音樂起 CanYouCelebrate)
㈣ 英語短話劇劇本5人 搞笑點的.
話劇《荊軻刺秦王》
旁白(Aside )/介紹（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, 「Yingzheng」. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上,掏出鏡子梳頭,做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It』s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對觀眾） I』m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I』ve told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan」!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什麼,人才!這句話要跟觀眾交流,最好由觀眾來回答,然後拍阿三肩膀,做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）
荊軻
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荊軻
OK. I』m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers』 world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荊軻
Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音樂起
兩人沖上前來
「人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,兩刀砍死你啊.」
李莫愁倒地
荊軻大笑
李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren』t you hurt?
荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （贏一個人需要理由么,不需要麼,需要麼?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荊軻再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to 「How are you」?
荊柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹暈倒
荊柯：Hey, man, I』m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I』m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?
荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙,上面寫著：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero,we need your help.
荊柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荊柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荊柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上場的美女,激動狀): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What』s the TCM?
荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn』t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What』s the TCM?
觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn』t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I』m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?難道你真的想要嗎……
（《No matter》音樂起,荊軻先與阿三跳探戈,擁入懷中,又甩出去,阿三做嘔吐狀.然後荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴,最後太子丹擺一個女性化的造型,向後彎腰並抬其中一條腿,荊軻做調戲狀.）
荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹與阿三（撞胯,擊掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大話西遊》主題曲響起）
荊珂挽著妻子,太子丹,阿三在後.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荊珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹,阿三下.停頓.《泰坦尼克號》主題曲起,荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經典造型,忽然荊軻看到一個美女——此時一個中國古典美女經過,向荊軻拋媚眼,並拋下定情手絹.荊軻高興的盯著美女看,妻子發覺不對,扭過頭來.）
荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）
荊珂(流淚) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你,選自《飄》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荊珂（欲走還留,執子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時,Jack對Rose的傾訴）.
妻子:"I promise."
荊軻:"Never let go. 「
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荊軻的發音和jack很像,所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的台詞.）
妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚,
荊珂上船,漸漸遠去
妻子：It』s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手機撥號,阿三接手機)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
㈤ 求英語搞笑話劇劇本。（6人，帶翻譯更高。）
六人的英語搞笑話劇：《 荊珂刺秦王》
旁白（Aside ）/介紹（Introction）：
Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.
Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, 「Yingzheng」.But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time?
很久以前有一個瘋狂的國家，在這個瘋狂的國家裡有一些瘋狂的人，試圖用瘋狂的方式展示瘋狂的歷史。荊軻先生是最有名的劍客，他被派去殺清王「嬴政」。但最後他失敗了。你想知道當時發生了什麼嗎？
Action I（第一幕）
太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?（鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，誰是世界上最漂亮的男人）
（畫外音：It's you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀）Thank you mirror! （面對觀眾）
I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.
But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. So what can I do? Where is my minister?
（我是丹王子，魔鏡說我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是個嫉妒心很強的人，我覺得如果鏡子告訴他真相，他會殺了我的。那我該怎麼辦？我的部長在哪裡？）
阿三（畢恭畢敬） : Honey, I am coming.（殿下，我來了）
太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me: "my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan."
（我一再告訴你，你應該叫我：「我最美麗、最優雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可愛、最聰明、最親愛的丹王子。）
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.（作殺狀）
（好的，殿下。我有一個好主意。我們可以找一個人去殺了嬴政）
太子：Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什麼，人才！然後拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
（經過篩選，我手頭上有兩個有前途的人。一個是李莫愁小姐，另一個是荊軻先生。明天他們將為世界頭號殺手PK。）
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
（好吧，盡快給我看看贏家，好嗎？）
阿三：Yes.（好的。）
Action II（第二幕）
（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）
荊軻：Are you Li mochou?（你是李莫愁？）
李莫愁：Yes.（是的。）
荊軻：OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.
（好啊。我是荊軻，你知道，我會讓你知道我是殺手世界之王。）
李莫愁：Are you challenging me?（你在挑戰我嗎？）
荊軻：Off course!（ 聳聳肩表示同意）
李莫愁：Come on!
音樂起，兩人沖上前來，「人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。」
李莫愁倒地，荊軻大笑。
李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren't you hurt?
（發生了什麼？為什麼你不會受傷？）
荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （贏一個人需要理由么,不需要麼，需要麼?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
（媽媽總是說：「人生就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永遠不知道你會得到什麼。「我知道了，媽媽是對的。）
荊軻再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to 「How are you？」
荊柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹暈倒
荊柯：Hey, man, I』m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I』m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?
荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙,上面寫著：To be or not to be, that's a question.
（生存還是毀滅，這是個問題。）
阿三：Hero,we need your help.（好漢，我們需要你的幫助。）
荊柯：I am busy now!（我忙著呢！）
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.（你可以得到很多錢。）
荊柯：I am very busy now!（我現在非常的忙。）
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荊柯：I am very very busy now!（我真的真的非常忙。）
阿三（手指上場的美女,激動狀）: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.（你看，那是世界上最美麗的女子，如果你答應了，她就是你的了。）
荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
（我不得不說她是個性感又美麗的女人，但TCM才是我唯一的愛人。）
阿三：What? What's the TCM?
荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.（小子，看你挺聰明卻不知道TCM。讓我來告訴你吧。）
阿三：Excuse me? What』s the TCM?
觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
（我必須給你看王牌。女士們先生們，這是利普頓減肥茶。是聯合利華中國的一個全新產品。）
荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't rece my weight.
（減肥茶！我已經夢想了幾千次了。我妻子總是威脅說如果我不能減肥就離開我。）
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?
（你想要什麼？如果你願意，就大聲說！你為什麼保持沉默？你為什麼看著我？雖然你的眼睛充滿了誠意，但我很高興，你還是得大聲說。拿著它！你真的喜歡嗎？真的？）
荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
（告訴我該怎麼辦？我願意為你做任何事。）
太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）：Yeah!
全劇終
拍英語話劇的注意事項
1、首先，組員要熟悉理解劇本，能夠充分理解劇本的內容，然後進行表情和細節性的標注，這樣會有助於現場的拍攝，同樣進行一幕一幕的劃分，這樣不會使組員太過緊張忘詞。
2、其次就是准備道具，一定要全，老師會很在意我們在細節方面的用心程度，倘若我們精心地准備了道具的話，會給老師留下一個不錯的印象，很容易得高分。
3、然後就是角色的分配，一定要合理，要根據人們在現實生活中的性格進行分配，這樣有助於增加話劇的真實性，從而更生動，同時也要考慮到不同組員的英語水，要考慮周全。
4、然後最最最重要的便是背台詞，一定要理解，切記，當我們感覺一句話念不通的時候，可以用簡單句進行改寫，便於背誦也便於理解，不一定一字不差的照著劇本背，這樣也違背了我們學英語的初衷。
5、然後便是拍攝，注意的是情感的投入尤其是表情，還有就是拍攝的角度一定要合理，符合當時情景。進行一幕一幕地拍攝，中途有適當的休息。然後就是盡量多個角度進行切鏡頭，這樣效果會好很多。
6、然後就是後期製作，這一點尤為重要，主要分為四部分，一、片頭和片尾的製作，二、視頻的剪輯，三、片頭和片尾音樂的挑選，四、字幕的製作。
㈥ 英語話劇劇本 要搞笑的 急！！
搞笑5人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：
西門吹雪
葉孤城
花滿樓
king
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha ,Iwon』tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I』mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! !?
X:I』msureIwon』t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you』llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂著肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可憐狀: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The 「WC」?
Y:Oh,I see ,!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出紙屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin「WC」 now,ha……
H驚訝:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It』sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let』sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let』s go!
㈦ 求搞笑英語話劇劇本（人數大概7～8人），能分出主演和客串，大概15～20分鍾（一定要帶翻譯呀）
英語話劇劇本：搞笑英語話劇：三笑三國 （7個人表演）
開場介紹： Ladies and gentlemen,let me introct the actor. The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonight.and his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei .don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director.
第一幕：人物，趙雲 夏侯惇 曹操 蔣干
旁白：就在剛才不久，一個黑大漢從曹操軍中救出劉備之子劉阿斗，現在正向這里殺過來，他就是張飛！！！（趙雲出場）Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dou.now,he is coming. His name is Zhangfei.
趙雲：no！本人姓趙名雲，乃常山子龍也！ no! my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~
（趙雲從背後拿出一坨布，代表阿斗）
趙雲：看！這就是主公的最後一點骨血！劉阿斗！我從火場之中把他救出，而我自己的臉卻早已……唉……化作焦炭！（顧影自憐狀）look! this is the last blood of the boss ! liu e dou . i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ...ai ~.
（夏侯敦挺著槍呈貓腰狀殺出）
夏侯敦：小賊，莫跑，要不然我就大開殺戒了（沖到） Children， stop there or i will kill you
（趙雲左手抱阿斗，右手與之搏鬥）
趙雲：可惡！居然敢偷襲我！fuck,!! you bitch dare to attack me ??
（二人裝腔作勢打鬥數招）
趙雲：看我九陰白骨爪！！stop!! wait!!! one two three... nine dark white bone fingers!!
夏侯敦：唔！（倒地） oh my gad i'm over
趙雲：此地不宜久留，還是快去尋主公！（下）yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~
（曹操、蔣干二人上）
曹操：沒想到我們初次出兵便殺得敵人望風而逃！真可謂出師未捷身先死。長使英雄淚滿襟！ I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack.
It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Long the hero Tearful"
蔣干：丞相，您說這話，真不見得怎麼吉利。 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said;
（曹操險些被地上的夏侯敦絆倒）
曹操：咦？這是誰扔的西瓜皮？（轉身，看見倒在地上的夏侯敦）Huh? Who threw the banana rind?
曹操：是夏侯愛卿。難道他又在搞什麼行為藝術？？Do not Xiahou Dun?
Is he engaged in what is called performance art?
（蔣幹上前將夏侯敦一頓拍打，二人站起）
曹操：夏侯愛卿為何要在地上裝西瓜皮？？Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground?
夏侯敦：有一人臉如黑炭 手抱孩子there is a very black people witha baby in his band
蔣干：是敵人的保姆！還帶個孩子！！！it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm.
曹操：那你呢？What did you do?
夏侯敦：i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him i'mfightting fightting fightting我 我…… 我沖上去與之打鬥 打 打 打
曹操：然後呢？What then?
蔣干：丞相，看來是夏侯將軍殺退了敵人！ Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy
夏侯敦：唔唔！（手勢如下：指指門外，右手作「九」的樣子，隨即作全身發冷狀，然後指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪擊狀）
曹操：然後呢？ Then what happened?
夏侯敦：no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible
（曹操、蔣干二人將夏侯敦拉起）
曹操：如此看來，敵人應該還沒有走遠。咱們乘勝追擊！（慷慨狀）It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's run after them.
蔣干：有時候我真的很佩服丞相您這樂觀的心理……（贊同狀） Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology ......
夏侯敦：唔！唔唔唔~！（掄起兩拳，作欲與敵人搏鬥狀）
（三人下）
第二幕:人物：劉備 張飛 諸葛亮 趙雲
（劉備、張飛、諸葛亮三人上）
旁白：這是的劉備一行人正在軍營外觀看敵情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp.
、
（諸葛亮走在前面，張飛、劉備二人緊跟其後）
諸葛亮：（轉頭）主公啊，按理說是您走先啦！（恭敬狀）old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it?
劉備：不啦，軍師您身後有好大塊蔭涼，躲在這里避避暑也不錯。No，it's very cool that I stand just behind you，I can avoid summer heat
諸葛亮：（眺望狀）主公，如果我所料不錯，現在馬上就要下雨了！liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain!
劉備：先生神算！人所不及！不知先生如何知道將要下雨？great prediction！No one can compare with you！just wonder how do you know it's going to rain？
諸葛亮：首先，天氣預報說今天有雨；其次，（以手指前方）看天，那邊有一塊黑雲來了！First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming!
（趙雲上）
張飛：哇！那就是子龍啊，想不到這一會不見子龍就換了個新桌面啊！Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute!
（張飛迎上）
張飛：子龍！ long
趙雲：翼德救我！ help!!! brother three.
（張飛下）
趙雲：主公！雲殊死力戰，方保得小主人在此！只是這許久不見啼哭，怕是已經……（悲憤狀，取出布包，打開並捧著） boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss. but it have a long time to hear nothing. i am afraid...
趙雲：kao！這小沒良心的，居然還能睡的著！就跟他爹一樣！！ oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father
劉備：咳咳！
（趙雲轉身面向劉備）
諸葛亮：子龍，不是我說你，你嘴上就是少個把門兒的，總不能啥實話都往外說啊！？Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!
（劉備怒視諸葛亮，諸葛亮恍如不知，趙雲上前，將阿斗遞給劉備，劉備捧著阿斗）
劉備：為了你這倒楣孩子，幾乎損我一員大將啊！我還留著你趕什麼啊，我摔死你吧！！because of you，I almost lose a brave general！Why do I keep you alive，let me kill you！！（阿斗摔下）
（趙雲上前，對准阿斗狂踹數腳，諸葛亮上前拉住，趙雲始終作勢欲踢，諸葛亮用身體壓住趙雲後，走上前去一腳將阿斗踢飛）
旁白：從今以後，阿斗的智力便出現了明顯的發育遲緩……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country.
趙雲：咦？怎麼不見關二哥呢？ yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu?
劉備：二弟昨天為軍師擺下一個八卦陣去，不過在沖出去撞馬的時候閃著腰了，現在還在休養呢！：He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed.
諸葛亮：哎，太糟糕了，看我，多健康，多健壯！告訴他，多喝三鹿奶粉！（自戀狀）！Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder!
趙雲：就給這孩子喝成這樣兒了！！！（走上前，撫摸諸葛亮，做憐惜狀） so you drink to be a foolish?
曹操（在台下）：啊~！！！（慘烈地）
劉備：難道三弟又重操舊業了？咱們快去看看！Did zhangfei return to one's former career ？Go to see what happen?
（三人下）
第三幕： 人物 張飛 曹操 夏侯 蔣干 劉備 諸葛亮
旁白：時間撥回到三分鍾之前，張飛大戰長坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set aside，zhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo
（張飛上，在台上轉一圈後，如京劇拿柱般亮相，定格）
曹操和蔣干：嘿嘿嘿嘿！（奸笑中）
夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑中）
（三人奸笑上台）代寫劇本 www.jiaoke.com
張飛：哇！火腿腸你回來拉！！ Wa!You, The hot dog, come back !
夏侯敦：我靠，又一個黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。。。 black man come again ， Blacks are very powerful，i'm afaid
曹操：閣下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的聲音！Excuse me. May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have!
張飛：我便是那燕（yān）人張翼德！（咬牙）I am Zhang Yide from jing! (clenches teeth)
曹操：閹人？？原來只是一個太監……夏侯敦，上去解決他！
You are the so called coward,aren't you?xiahou,beat it!
（夏侯敦低頭貓腰沖出）
夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！
（二人打在一起）（定格）
蔣干：丞相，這一仗咱們必輸，一會還有橋斷水倒流呢！快叫夏侯將軍下來吧。 Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly
曹操：你怎麼知道？How dou you know it?
蔣干：《真三國無雙叄》，長坂的任務啊！！ "Really,it is the game's ty of Three countries Unparalleled Three"!!
曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷於網路游戲了。這樣既浪費時間又上海身體，你還是聽為丞相的一句話吧！珍愛生命，遠離三俗啊！
I think you are too addicted to online games. What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself.
（張飛與夏侯敦二人繼續，張飛一槍擊中夏侯敦）
夏侯敦：oh my gad i am over again又被打敗了 （蔣幹上前將夏侯敦拖回）
曹操：唉，如今這世道變了，太監都這么厲害啦！？
Why does that coward become so brave?
張飛：曹賊聽著！今日汝等必不能生過此橋！ cao ,stops talking! Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one!
曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韋身死，許諸拉稀，於禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，張遼痔瘡，才不會輸給你！shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated!
張飛：你手下終究無人可用！啊，面對此景次請，我真想賦詩一首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a song.er, on ......On ......（音樂起）only you ~~~~~only……you……
（夏侯敦躍起）
夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（以手捂耳，跑下）
曹操：啊！（慘厲的叫聲，並以手捂耳）
蔣干：啊！（慘厲的叫聲，並以手捂耳）
曹操：這難道就是傳說中的門得爾松的c大調《鬼叫》協奏曲！何以如此震撼！（驚惶狀）Why is this so shocking!
蔣干：（一手指張飛）快看！丞相！橋斷了！水也開始倒流啦！！（轉過身去，以手捂耳） Look, Prime minister! The bridge broke! The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩地裂之聲）
曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血狀）（定格）
（諸葛亮、劉備、趙雲三人上）
諸葛亮：別唱啦！再唱下去就把曹操給唱死啦！Do not sing more,ok?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song!
劉備：三弟快打住！！（以手捂耳）Stop,stop！！（以手捂耳）
張飛：only you ~~~~~only……you……（餘音不絕）
劉備：子龍，快把三弟扛回去。Zilong，carry zhangfei back quickly。
趙雲：好的！ ok
（趙雲上前，以手捂住張飛的嘴，扛走，張飛依舊唱個不停）
（張飛、趙雲二人下）
旁白：從此以後有一首歌傳唱至今 經久不衰，叫做：only you~~~~ since then, a song becomevery very famous.The name is
《Only You》.(歌聲再次響起，眾人謝幕~~)。
㈧ 搞笑英語話劇劇本
搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won』t change my name! no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don』t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don』t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don』t beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路過，x起身跑過去）
X可憐狀: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以勝利者的語氣，轉頭,看見 花滿樓)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 .
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
第二幕：無間道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That』s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出場
M:hello，帥鍋..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let』s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I』ll tell you 「 I love you 」 , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady』s 「WC」!
Y:I like going lady』s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don』t say that 「you love me」. I』ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I』m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K驚訝: !you—you—You are X』lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(輕聲說)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn』t resume !
(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you』ll get on well,and you』ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—來自於網路
㈨ 6人搞笑英語話劇劇本加翻譯
FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right.
It's funny how things work out.
EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard.
FORREST (voice-over)
I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a
promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise.
So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's
family and make their introction.
Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest.
MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue.
MRS. BLUE I guess.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY
Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone.
FORREST (voice-over)
And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself.
FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember
everything you said, and I got it all figured out.
Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket.
FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred
and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got...
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a
new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner
and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers.
Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash.
OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE
Forrest stands at the grave.
FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was
in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just
loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle."
Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says
it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody.
So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new
nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat.
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin',
but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough.
EXT. DOCKS
Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket.
FORREST I only caught five.
OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail.
The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest.
OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat?
FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before,
but there was only one I could think of.
Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny."
FORREST (voice-over)
The most beautiful name in the wide world.
譯文：
福勒斯特(畫外音),媽媽,但她絕對是對的。
這是有趣的事情怎麼工作。
分機。河口啦BATRE /布巴的媽媽的家——的一天
福勒斯特走到一間小木屋在邊緣的河口。一群黑人孩子踢前面的院子。
福勒斯特(畫外音)
我沒在家待太長時間,因為我犯了一個
保證布巴。我總是努力保持我的承諾。
所以我就下到河口啦Batre滿足布巴的
家庭和使他們的介紹。
布巴的母親給布魯太太和她的其他孩子看,福勒斯特。
布魯太太你是不是瘋了,還是天生就這么蠢?
福勒斯特蠢人做蠢事,夫人藍色的。
布魯太太我猜一猜。
分機。布巴的墳墓——天
福勒斯特步驟到布巴的墓碑上。
福勒斯特(畫外音)
當然,我也去看望了布巴本人。
福勒斯特:嘿,布巴,是我,福勒斯特•甘普。我記得
你說的一切,我讓所有事情都盤算好了。
福勒斯特從口袋裡掏出筆記。
福勒斯特,我將花二萬四千、五百
和六十二美元和美分,我得到……47個
分機。河口——天
福勒斯特橫跨一個院子的男人都是清潔蝦。
福勒斯特(畫外音)
……嗯,這是一個新發型後留下的和
新衣服,我把媽媽去豪華晚宴
而我買了車票和三個醫生辣椒。
福勒斯特沿著一個木製的碼頭。福勒斯特一個老黑shrimper支付一大把的鈔票。
老SHRIMPER告訴我一些。你是蠢還是什麼?
福勒斯特蠢人做蠢事,先生。
分機。布巴的墳墓
福勒斯特站在墳墓。
福勒斯特好,那就是後留下的我、說、「我
中國乒乓球隊,我All-America而已
我喜歡打乒乓球,Flex-O-Ping-Pong之中。」
,每個人都知道這不是真的,但是媽媽說的話嗎
這只是一個小小的善意謊言,這樣它就不會傷害到任何人。
所以,無論如何,我把所有的氣體、繩子和新的
網、全新的shrimpin的船。
分機。河口——天
福勒斯特steers蝦船。他這只船是古老而生銹。福勒斯特釋放他的網作為他釣的一天滴到甲板上。它是一堆垃圾和貝殼。福勒斯特撿起一個蝦。
福勒斯特(畫外音)
現在,布巴曾告訴過我所有他知道的關於shrimpin ',
但你知道我發現嗎?Shrimpin」是很難的。
分機。碼頭
福勒斯特拉兩蝦的桶里。
阿甘我僅僅看到了五個。
一對老SHRIMPER更多的,你可以你有一個雞尾酒會。
舊的shrimper開始走開,然後停止,看著,福勒斯特。
老SHRIMPER嘿,你曾經想過namin '這舊船嗎?
福勒斯特(畫外音)我從未命名一艘船之前,
但是只有一個我能想到的。
福勒斯特漆邊上的一名他的船。名稱為「珍妮。」
福勒斯特(畫外音)
最美麗的名字在這廣闊的世界。
㈩ 有哪些英語話劇搞笑劇本，適合八個人出演的
英語小品劇本 -- 孫悟空vs豬八戒
An English play---- Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King
悟空：師傅,是不是太累了?休息一下再走吧.
Master, are you tired? Let』s have a rest.
唐僧：沒關系,前面不遠就有人家了,到了那裡再休息吧.
I am fine. Let』s have a rest later. Look! There is a house over there.
悟空仔細地攙扶唐僧繼續行走,同時另一邊老頭、老媽、小媳婦出場.
小媳婦（做哭狀）：爹、媽,我……
Daddy, mommy, I, I …
老頭：女兒,快走吧,不然那豬精來了,就走不了了.
Honey, hurry up. The spirit is coming soon.
小媳婦走幾步又回頭跑回老媽的懷里,抱頭痛哭.老頭在一邊嘆息,擦淚.
唐僧、悟空走到他們面前.
悟空：師傅,到了.
Master, here we are.
唐僧（走到老頭面前行禮,悟空看見了正在哭的母女倆,覺得奇怪,上下打量）：老施主,我是從
東土大唐前往西天取經的和尚,想借貴地休息一晚,不知方便否?
Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight?
老頭（做哽咽狀）：哦,是東土大唐來的高僧啊,可以可以.（別過臉去繼續哭泣）
Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please ……
唐僧正在奇怪,老媽聞聲抬起頭,仔細打量唐僧,突然撲到唐僧面前.
老媽：高僧啊,你可要救救我的女兒,救救我們一家啊.
Master, please save my daughter, save my family…
唐僧：老施主休要傷心,有什麼事慢慢說.
Don』t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened?
老頭：高僧有所不知,我們這里有一隻豬精,今天要來跟我女兒成親,大家都斗不過它,現在正
准備把女兒送出去逃避
Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all
afraid of him.
唐僧：施主莫怕,我這徒弟本領高強,也許他能幫上你們.
Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.
老頭：唉,高僧啊,以前也來過自稱本領高強的師傅,結果都被這豬精打跑了.今天你們就躲著
別出來了吧.
Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every
time, they were defeated by the spirit. You』d better keep away tonight.
悟空：噢,有這么厲害的妖怪?我倒要會他一會.待會你們只管躲起來,外面發生什麼事,都不
用管.
What? Is the spirit really so strong? I』d like to see how great he is. All of you
just stay inside. Don』t come out no matter what happens.
這時起了風聲（音樂）,老頭一家嚇得站起來混身發抖.小媳婦嚇得直往老媽懷里鑽.悟空鎮定
地舉手示意,讓師傅及老頭一家人躲到房間裡面去.自己也手搭涼篷看了看,便不慌不忙地也躲
在了門後,露出一段紅袖子.
豬八戒大笑著耀武揚威地走上場來,嘴裡大喊：小娘子,我來了.
Darling, here I am.
站在台上停一下,見沒有動靜,覺得奇怪,往房屋裡看去,見露出一段紅袖子,高興地一拍手掌.
八戒：小娘子還害羞呢,不敢出來見老豬嗎?來,來,來,我們就要是夫妻了,還害什麼羞呀!.
Darling, don』t be so shy! Please come to me. Come on, we will be a couple.
豬八戒跑上去輕輕拉住紅袖子,把小娘子拖了出來,小娘子作出害羞的樣子,有時又做出猴子的
模樣.
八戒：小娘子,不用怕,我雖然長得丑,但本領高強,一定會讓你過上好日子的.
Darling, don』t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I
can make you happy.
小娘子笑著點頭,抓耳撓腮.
八戒：小娘子,你高興的時候幹嘛要像猴子一樣?
Darling, why do you look like a monkey ?
小娘子：我一高興就覺得癢,所以就抓一抓.
When I am happy, I always tickle.
八戒：高興就好,高興就好.我們快入洞房吧.
Fine, let』s go to the bedroom.
八戒拉住小娘子就往房子裡面鑽.小娘子作出動腦筋的樣子,又把八戒拉回來.
八戒：哇,小娘子,你好大的力氣啊,幹嘛把我拉出來啊?
Darling. Why are you so powerful?
小娘子：夫君,你這模樣進去會嚇著我的父母的,還是去你家裡吧.
Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We』d better go to your home.
八戒：去我家?那太好了,我們這就走吧.
Go to my house?OK. that』s a great idea. Let』s go.
兩人走了幾步,小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的樣子,八戒忙扶起她,作出痛惜的樣子.
小女子：我一個弱女子,哪裡能走這么遠?夫君背我吧.
I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back?
八戒：背你?好,好,好.誰讓你是我的媳婦呢?
Carry you on my back? All right. Youre my wife after all. Come on.
八戒把小女子背上：娘子,我們這就出發了.
Darling, Lets go.
小女子（在八戒頭上一點）：走吧,獃子.
Okay. Let』s go.
音樂響起(直到八戒摔倒).八戒在台上走一圈,做出越走越慢,越走越累的樣子.小女子在他背
上抓耳撓腮,非常高興.
八戒：小娘子,你怎麼這么重啊?
Darling, why are you so heavy?
小女子：不是我重,只怕是你不想背我吧?
Do you think so? Dont you want to carry me?)
八戒：不,不,不,我背,我背.
Yes, I do. I do.
繼續艱難地走.小女子得意地在背上笑.八戒體力不支,一跤摔倒,小女子倒地之後,
靈活地越上台上的假山,先做出猴子笑看八戒的樣子,再做出摔疼了的樣子在那裡呻吟.
八戒聽到女子的呻吟,忙東張西望找小媳婦.
八戒：娘子,摔著了沒有?娘子,摔著了沒有?娘子,你摔到哪去了?怎麼看不見你了?
Darling, are you OK? Darling, where are you? Why cant I see you?
小女子（偷偷地笑,再裝作痛苦的樣子）：夫君,我在這里呢.
Honey, I am here.
八戒：哇,娘子, 你怎麼摔到高的地方去了?
Darling. Why did you go up there?
小女子：還不是你這獃子害的.
Thats your fault.
八戒：對不起,娘子.對不起,娘子.
Sorry, darling. I』m very sorry.
小女子：看你這么辛苦,我也摔疼了,那就休息休息吧.
You look so tired, and I feel sore. Let』s have a rest.
八戒：太好了. 我們就休息一下吧!
Have a rest? That』s a good idea. Let』s have a rest.
八戒聽了高興地坐在下面休息,小女子仔細地打量他.
小女子（撒嬌地）：夫君,你是哪裡的神仙,我都還不知道,怎麼能嫁給你呢?你可要告訴我.
Honey, how can I marry you? I don』t even know where you come from. You must tell me
the truth first.
八戒：唉,別提了,想當年我本是天上的天篷元帥,上天入地,八面威風.只因冒犯了嫦娥,
被玉帝貶下凡塵,錯投了豬胎,長成這般模樣.
Alas! Don』t mention it. I was Tianpeng marshal, I could fly between heaven and the
world. Only because I made a big mistake, I was punished by Yudi. So I became a pig.
That』s why I am so ugly.
小女子：虧你長得這么丑,還敢出來見人.
You look too ugly to meet people.
八戒：本來我也不想出來,只是南海觀音點化我,叫我在這里等候前往西天的取經人.等了這么久,
也不見,便出來逛逛,能碰到娘子你,是我一生的造化,還管它什麼西天取經呢?（八戒高興地過
去想拉小女子的手）
I didn』t want to come here. Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. Ive been
waiting for a long time, but nobody has come. It』s lucky to meet you here.
小女子（把手甩開）：你說自己是天上的神仙,怎麼連我都背不動,真讓人難以相信.
You said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can』t you carry me? It』s
impossible!
八戒：我真的是天上的神仙,你幹嘛不信呢你.
I am really the immortal. Why don』t you believe me?
小女子：那你拿出點本事來瞧瞧.
Show me some gongfu then.
八戒：好,讓我露兩手來給你看看.
OK, let me show you my gongfu.
從石頭後拿出釘鈀,舞了起來.小女子暗暗點頭.當八戒的釘色舞到小女子面前時,被小女子一把
抓住,往石山後面一拖,八戒被拖了過去.
八戒：娘子,你怎麼這么大的力氣?
Darling. Why are you so strong?
小女子：有本事你把我拖出去呀.
Pull me out if you can .
八戒做出用力拖的樣子,沒有發現拖出來的卻是悟空.悟空一鬆手,八戒摔倒在地.
八戒：娘子,你怎麼這么狠心把我摔倒了? 不要開玩笑了.
How could you let me fall down? Don』t kid any longer.
悟空大笑：獃子,看看我是誰!
You Silly! Look at me. Who am I?
八戒一看,嚇得跳起來：齊天大聖,我的媽呀.
My god! You are Mahatma!
八戒轉身想跑,被悟空攔住,兩人打了起來,八戒不是對手,被悟空壓住,不能動彈.
悟空：獃子,你可還敢在這里害人不成?
You silly! Dare you harm others any more?
八戒：不敢了,不敢了.
No, I dare not!
悟空： 你可還敢在這里娶媳婦?
Dare you wive yet?
八戒：不敢了.大聖爺爺饒我.
No,no. Please forgive me, Mahatma.
悟空：量你也不敢.
I bet you dare not.
悟空放開,八戒轉身想跑,被悟空一把抓住耳朵,疼得直叫.
悟空：獃子,想往哪裡去?
You silly, where are you going?
八戒：我已答應你,不再鬧事了,幹嘛還不放我走?
Ill never make trouble any more. Why dont you let me go?
悟空：獃子,我帶你去見取經人.
You silly, Im taking you to meet the sutra-seeker.
八戒：什麼?取經人來了?
What? Has Tangseng come?
悟空：走吧.
Yes. Lets go!
兩人在台上走半圈,來到房前.
悟空：師傅,出來吧,這妖怪已經被我降服了.
Master, please come out! The spirit has been defeated !
唐僧等人走了出來,老頭一家還有些戰戰兢兢.
悟空：獃子,還不跪下,見過師傅.
You silly, kneel down to meet your master.
八戒忙對著唐僧下跪,口喊師傅.唐僧非常吃驚.
Master, nice to meet you here.
唐僧：徒兒,這是怎麼回事?
My prentice, whats up?
悟空：師傅,這是觀世音菩薩特意讓他在此等候陪您上西天取經的.
Master, he will accompany you to the west at Guanyins behest.
唐僧：哦,多謝觀世音菩薩,既然這樣我就收你為徒,賜你法名為
八戒.
I see! Thank Guanyin! Since then, I will take you as my prentice
and name you Bajie.
八戒：謝謝師傅（站了起來）.
Thank you, my master!
老頭：恭喜高僧又收神徒.
Congratulations!
唐僧：徒兒們,我們上路吧.（八戒還依依不捨地看著小女子）
Lets go ahead, my prentices.
悟空：八戒,還看什麼呢?走了.
Bajie, there is nothing to attach to. Lets go!
八戒戀戀不舍地走到前面帶路.